Where the Happily Ever Afters Are Always In Color

 Day 483

10.26.2011

A spontaneous post because the TV has pissed me off again.

First – I’ll be sharing a guest post AND giving away a signed copy of Better Off Red this Friday, Oct 28th over at Fangs, Wands & Fairy Dust. Do check it out.

Now I rant.

I have 29 episodes of Batman the Animated Series on my DVR that my boyfriend has asked me to delete. Instead, I went through the other stuff we had saved and found “So you wanna be… A Writer” which first aired on Current TV back in 2010. I’m sitting here preparing a guest blog post for Friday about why I write, so I figured this show would be acceptable background noise. I remembered quickly that I’d already watched it, but haven’t deleted it and now I remember why. The first story in the program featured Ben Karlin, writer and executive producer of the Daily Show, who summed up his Hollywood career as if you can just show up in LA, be instantly funny and the next thing you know-  BAM – you’re getting the green light to start production on The Colbert Report. Not to mention the two Daily Show and one personal book he has put out. I don’t doubt that this dude had some connections along the way, but I refused to believe this was a painless process.

As I’ve recently tweeted, I FUCKING hate it when authors who’ve experienced major or even minor writing success pretend that their writing journey was some sort of easy task. I have read so many author interviews where the author completely breezes over the difficulties of finishing a book, finding an agent, promoting a book etc. I thought I was all alone in my struggles. I thought I would go crazy before things worked out. This whole blog is about how that entire process has driven me to pony loving insanity and massive weight gain. I’ve passed my all time high by 3 lbs at this point. Go me. But – I also started this blog after Better Off Red was finished. Writing this book was easily (?) the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve hiked a mountain as an extremely overweight pre-teen.

Along the way I’ve cried a lot, been depressed, doubted my very existence and gotten in massive fights with my significant other. All the things that some writers fail to mention, writers who I wont throw under the bus here. After I restrained myself from throwing my shoe through the TV, a segment featuring Robert “Bobby” Moresco, co-writer of Crash and Million Dollar Baby came on. His segment was the reason I’d saved this program for almost a year. Robert acknowledge what being a writer is really about and how fucking hard it is to not succeed, but to simply stay in the business. Sorry I’m swearing so much, but I want to punch Ben Karlin in the face.

http://current.com/e/76384062/en_US

I think of this interview every time I’m crying over the state of my bank account or begging my boyfriend to be patient with me.

For the aspiring writers out there – its hard. It’s really, really hard, to write, to complete and to get your work acknowledged. But if this is something you want, you can’t give up. Read. Write. Read and write some more.

For authors who aren’t telling the whole truth, seriously, suck it.

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 Day 458

10.01.2011

More goodies!

This month an interview with lil ole me is featured in the Bold Strokes Monthly Newsletter. The newsletter is busting with info on Bold Strokes’s new and upcoming releases and info Women’s Week in Provincetown.

There’s an excerpt from Better Off Red here, along with the first chunk of my interview.

My full interview can be found here.

You can also get to it here.

And since its October 1st…

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 Day 449

09.22.2011

It’s time for another confession. So here it is.

I don’t want to promote my books.

And I know all three of you are saying something along the lines of “Why ever not?” Or something with more four letter words, but here’s the skinny.

I’ve worked in sales three times in my life and I never really sold anything on purpose. My best day at the GAP involved helping a guy pick out a Christmas outfit for his wife. He was a wranglers and tee kind of guy and it was so sweet to see how badly he wanted to buy his wife something nice. We talked for a long time, he walked away happy and I made no commission what so ever ’cause it’s the GAP.

I had a blast working at The Pleasure Chest, which celebrates it’s fortieth anniversary next week. Helping Dave Navarro pick out rope or talking to Judy Geer and Ivana Milicevic about g-spot orgasms always made for a fun work day. The thrill of that job came with working somewhere where I could and had to talk about sex all day with no chance of getting fired or sued for sexual harrassment. I also got asked out a lot. 🙂 But I never “worried” about making sales. People rarely walking into a sex shop to hang out. People need lube and condoms. Some need penis pumps. And I sold a shitload of harnesses and dildos. I knew if I was polite and helpful people would buy stuff and I would get paid.

My other sales job sucked and we need never speak of it again.

Promoting my book is different. It’s about the book, but on the outset it’s about me and I am terrible at selling myself. I’m TERRIBLE at fitting in or conforming to make other people comfortable. I’m awful in job interviews. Ask me where I see myself in 5 years, I almost always say I don’t know. I can’t bullshit like that. I’m loud, I curse a lot, pussy might be my favorite word. I’m never gonna do yoga so people should stop asking. I watch too many cartoons. On an average day I dress like a skater who just started 12th grade. I’m all for being nice, but I suck at lying so I think you suck I’m going to tell you.

On the flip side I can’t stand it when people tweet links to their books non-stop. I’m also not a fan of reading a book just because everyone else is reading it. I will maintain till my dying day that I read Twilight for work. Ask Dave Kurtz.

I believe people follow me on twitter for two reasons – and this is my low self-esteem talking but I can’t get her to shut up –  1) I have web friends from my fanfiction days and 2) I tweet tons of boobs and lesbian porn gifs from my tumblr. The voice in the back of my head is convinced that no one cares about Better Off Red’s release in 53 days. 

And then this happened: 2 websites mentioned the upcoming release of Better Off Red and I had nothing to do with it.

KT at Babbling About Books And More: http://kbgbabbles.blogspot.com/2011/09/kb-pimpin-future-book-releases.html

Sally at Bibrary Booklust: http://bibrary.blogspot.com/2011/08/waiting-on-wednesday-better-off-red-by.html

If people I have no personal or pornographic ties to are interested in Better Off Red then there is hope.

The truth I have to face is that some people will want to read my book, but if I don’t promote it and myself no one will know about it. I have developed serious love affairs with Beverly Jenkins and LaVyrle Spencer, two authors I would know nothing about if it weren’t for social media. The system does work.

In my dreams there’s some 16 year old girl out there dying to read something like Better Off Red (yeah the material is 18+ but let’s be realistic, kids read up). I want her to be able to find that book and of course I want her to tell her friends because in the end I’d like to make a living off my writing so I must promote. I want that JK Rowling money. He he har. Promote I must.

Here’s what I got so far. On my tumblr, http://rebekahloves.tumblr.com/ , in the side bar, if you search the following terms you will find pictures and art that tie into Better Off Red and The Fling. So far people seem to like the character teasers. please remember it is an 18+ tumblr with nude images.

Ginger
Camila
Natasha
Tokyo
Kina
Amy
Benny
Anna-Jade
Sam
Paige
Cleo

an image I love for Cleo

BetterOffRed (no spaces)
Sororitygirls
Sororityvamps
VSS
VSS2
Andrew
The Boys Of 8OBA

TheFling
Annie
Kat
Oksana

I’m also working on my romance trading cards which should be available soon for readers and I’m designing Alpha Beta Omega sorority t-shirts to sell on cafepress. And yes I will tweet and post facebook links to my books. I want this book to sell no matter what people think of me and my foul mouth so I have to promote it. Marketing and promotion are part of the game just like writing synopsisesses and the occasional block, things I also hate about the writing/selling process.

In random update news, I’ve been in North Carolina since Sunday for a funeral. The service was quite joyful. I’ve eaten my weight in shakes and other southern fats. The Hills didnt ruin “Unwritten” for me, YAY! I also think Floyd Mayweather and 50 Cent are in love, like secretly making love in love. And my my little pony obsession is spiraling out of control.

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 Day 425

08.29.2011
I know 30 some odd days haven’t passed since my last post, but I GOT COVER ART!
It’s a little porny. Enjoy it with me, won’t you.
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 Day 408

08.12.2011

I had so much to say a few days ago, but then I stopped screaming about the themes in The Help and I forgot the other topic I wanted to blog about so I’ll just throw out some updates and random thoughts as I often like to do.

Better Off Red is in its final stages of production. It’ll be off to the printers soon. I’m pumped. A handful of people have been nice enough to tell me they have already pre-ordered a copy and that makes me happy to the tenth degree. I’ll have romance trading cards featuring the cover art and some deets on Ginger available soon.

The Fling will be out April 16, 2012, a perfect tax time gift for friends and family.

I’m in stage 2 of , lets say, 20 in writing Blacker Than Blue: Vampire Sorority Sisters Book 2. That should be released Fall 2012 granted I get to step 20.

 I’m obsessed with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Rainbow Dash is my dream pony. 

I think Jay-Z and Kanye’s new song OTIS sucks.

Febreze stopped making my favorite scent: apple spice & delight. I had to settle for pumpkin harvest & fall

Rise of the Planet of the Apes was pretty good.

I’m still shocked that DJ forgot Kimmie Gibbler’s 16th birthday.

I dyed my bangs blue which required me to bleach them blond first. The blue washed out this week when I relaxed my so in the end, my hair is now blond. Dreams do come true.

My cats love knocking shit off the table and one of them thought this was a great idea.

Until next time. 🙂

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 Day 367

07.08.2011

SO. I started this blog a year ago, Wednesday and I figured I should do a little recap. I tend to procrastinate that’s why here I am, on Friday, with said recap. I’ve learned a several things over the last 367 days and I’d like to share some of them here.



  • A lot of people use the internet to say the asshole things to others they would never have the balls to say to their face.
  • Variety is a beautiful thing.
  • Twitter is a great place to connect with people.
  • Some cats like to play fetch.
  • You cannot please everyone in any sense, let alone with your writing. 
  • A good editor is worth twice their weight in gold.
  • The next wedding I want to be involved in is my own.
  • Twitter is a place where you might what to think before you type. Your followers are reading your tweets (and passing judgement on your tweets) even if they don’t respond
  • I still love Maury results shows.
  • I will watch every rerun of American Dad! over and over.
  • 3D gives me headaches.
  • I’m a GLEEK.
  • I prefer Dominos pizza. 
  • I have a type.
  • I appreciate what Steve Jobs has done for me.
  • My cooking skills are okay, but they could be better.
  • I may write a certain kind of erotica and romance, but I love YA and historical novels.
  • PBS restores my faith in humanity.
  • Current TV shit the bed.
  • Racism exists in many forms.
  • Reading is a good thing.
  • Write want you want to read.
  • I play favorites.
  • Not everyone giving advice should be giving advice.
  • I have great friends.
  • I have an unhealthy addiction to Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant.
  • Being an adult isn’t hard when you do things on time. You also avoid fees. 
  • If writing wasn’t in my future, I’d be a cake decorator.
  • Never buy cat toys. They will find plenty of things around your house to covert into toys. Socks and hair ties seem to the favorites.
  • Some literary agents are really nice. Some are not.
  • I wrote Better Off Red in the spring of 2010. It will be out with an amazing publisher in the winter of 2011. Miracles do happen.
  • When in doubt, ask.
  • Learning about publishing is fascinating and scary all at the same time. 
  • Shazam is the best app ever.
  • The Santa Monica DMV isn’t half bad.
  • Depression isn’t as funny as it looks on House.
  • I don’t budget well.
  • I take horrible before pictures.
  • Back pain is a very real thing.
  • Words matter.
  • Adderall makes me homicidal, yet very productive.
  • Talking to other writers about nonsense on twitter and facebook doesn’t make me a better writer.
  • Blogging doesn’t make you a better writer.
  • I have a spirit animal.
  • Fanfiction readers are fucking LOYAL.
  • I’m all for First 48: Boston
  • I’m not gay or straight.
  • Some people don’t know what Bisexual means.
  • I’m not bisexual.
  • I have poor impulse control.
  • GAP jeans are bullshit.
  • My mom still gives the best hugs.
  • People are surprisingly supportive of my writing, even when I open with “It’s about a vampire sorority…”
  • Patience is key.
  • Emailing strangers can work out extremely well.
  • I am capable of writing a book in a relatively short amount of time.
  • I have horrible road rage.
  • Baby fever is real.
  • I don’t like going on hikes.
  • Regular Show is brilliant.
  • I am completely comfortable discovering new music through commercials and shows on the WB.
  • I can only be so excited in a J. Crew dressing room.
  • When I’m writing I find my happy place.
  • If you have a dream, chase it.
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 Day 364

07.05.2011

I finished The Fling last night and sent it off to my editor.

image

And then I figured out had to post gifs on blogger.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

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 Day 346

06.17.2011

We have kittens. They act more like dogs than cats and they like watching me while I use the restroom. It’s gross.

Colonel Whiskers
Remy

Blogger refuses to post these photos upright.

I’m struggling not to dye my hair blond again. That’s right. I said AGAIN.

I have a lot of writing to do: completing a manuscript, completing a short story and editing a different manuscript.

This blog is keeping me sane as I plug through this writing: TerribleMinds 

I need to get the hell off twitter until I’m done with that writing.

Happy Friday Everyone! Saturday for my friends in Australia.

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 Day 308

05.10.2011

So, I eat my feelings. I feel like by admitting that I’m one step away from the biggest loser or a 1800 Get Thin Commercial, but I’m not. But I will tell you want I am. I am technically obese. It’s a dirty word, but going by scales and charts, that’s what I am. I’m what I like to call a Functioning Fatty, which I think a lot of people are. My weight has only made me more social, but my social skills don’t stop me from breathing heavy as I walk up stairs or sweating whenever I hear the word hot

It’s Tuesday, which is the perfect day to write this. Sunday I go to weight watchers. Monday I work out and eat healthy. Tuesday I fall off the wagon. I blame this on my short term memory loss, but the truth is, I eat my feelings. All the emotions you have to dig up to create a story worth telling make me impossible to live with. I have no idea how most writers don’t suffer from severe depression. I do and that’s coupled with the ADHD I think I’ve mentioned a few times here and there.  And with that comes the need to eat my way through ups and downs. Again I share this because my life affects my writing life. I’ll tell you how.

While waiting to hear back on the submission of Better Off Red, I gained 30 lbs. It was a relatively short period of time. I have been a  varying weight on the curvy to heavy meter since I was 6, but this was first time in my life I noticed the weight gain. My dude noticed too. Don’t worry he was nice about it, but when I screamed “30 fucking pounds” he didn’t do that annoying “What are you talking about?” thing which I appreciated. This big girl hates sugar coating (get it). I have been this heavy before. When I first moved to LA and discovered the magic that is Craft Service, I climbed to my all time max weight. I am 2 pounds away from that now.

I see a lot of girls and women my size, every day and many of them are very beautiful. I do not see this when I see myself at a distance. Up close in that avatar sized box that is my face, I know I’m not unfortunate. I’m not Paula Patton (Paula Patton is fine), but I know I’m not a troll. I hate my body. My dude loves it, but knowing that I hate it he does almost as well as my father does at never mentioning my weight ever. I see bulges and rolls and I hate them.

The vanity is one issue, but here’s the other. I have gained 5 pounds since I started writing The Fling, which is HILARIOUS because the love interest is a trainer. I have to write more books and I have to spend MANY more hours sitting on my ass. If I gain 30lbs per book which is very very possible, I will be in big trouble in short order. For in the first time in my life I have to lose weight so I don’t eat myself into a heart attack. This is sobering, but then there’s that short term memory loss and that hilarious depression…

So it’s Tuesday. I read a book that ripped my heart out last night and had me up to 3 this morning. I have to write today and of course I don’t want to work out. Plus Dude is working from home and Chinese food is like a chaser to burgers for him. Luckily I’m meeting with my bestie’s trainer today ask her some questions for The Fling. Hopefully that will keep me on the wagon for a few more hours. We’ll see.

(Read this last night and another part of me will never be the same. I HIGHLY recommend. )

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 Day 281

04.13.2011

New Book. New Router. A new reason to gain another 30 pounds.

So my publisher tells me (im making the wording up) “Yes, write this new book, young one. Tell your light-hearted romantic comedy tale. Meet your deadline and if it doesn’t BLOW, we’ll put it out in a timely fashion.” And them the universe blesses me with sciatica.* Now I have a decent tolerance for pain, but suffering from “Sciatica (or sciatic neuritis), a set of symptoms including pain that may be caused by general compression and/or irritation of one of five spinal nerve roots that give rise to each sciatic nerve, or by compression or irritation of the left or right or both sciatic nerves, is one of the most awful things I’ve experienced in my entire life.

I f-ed my back last year, had the same problem, but it when away. AND THEN IT CAME BACK. I was out of work for a week, on my back most of that time. Some of the time, on my back crying, literally. I had to crawl to the bathroom. Sitting up felt like my bones were literally grinding together. My poor boyfriend had to put on my socks for me for our trip to the doctor.

The up-shot: I caught up on so much cable ondemand.

The bull@#$ other side: crippling pain doesn’t really make for a happy writer. I was blocked like crazy.

Thankfully the blockage is gone and so is the majority of the pain. It still hurts like crazy to sit in certain chairs for long periods of time, but I’ve written a good chunk this week. A chunk I’m pretty happy with.

In other news, I’ve started a tumblr account to share x-rated visual aids to my stories.  http://rebekahloves.tumblr.com/ PLEASE click with caution. I mean it when I say x-rated. I write erotica after all. 🙂 There’s also funny stuff and really cute pictures of puppies and kittens and Wonder Woman.

A search for a new router derailed my writing plans for tonight, but I’m back on the nets now with access to my completely writing life. Happy as an almost-walking normal clam.

*i dont know what adam is and my butt doesn’t look like that.

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